Time to Move

I tried to keep this blog a pseudo-secret for the same reasons other people keep their blogs top or pseudo secret. Venting. Gossiping. Dumping. Etc. Etc. I didn't go out of my way to tell people about it. I didn't tell people who I thought I might actually write about. However, I now know that people I either have written about or really want to write about, read it.

So it's time to move on. Actually, it's way past time to move on I was just hoping to not have to do it. I'm going to an undisclosed location. Like the Vice President. Only I'll tell you if you ask. Just email me from this blog and I'll write back.

And to you -- you know who you are -- don't try to find me again. You never should have found this blog at all. I guess it's a testament to your listening and googling skills but I'm still not impressed. Nor will I ever be impressed by you again.

Maybe I Just Didn't Have Enough Flare

I once heard or read that everyone can expect to be fired at least once in their life. I've lived my professional life under the wait of this knowledge, fully expecting to be "let go" from my primary income source at any moment. So imagine my relief to finally get it over with -- from my part-time job as a waitress!

And, as I'm sure most business owners are wont to do, this was handled with the utmost professionalism (sarcasm). I got a message on my cell's voice mail letting me know they don't need me to come in anymore. That's it. No explanation. No personal talk. Nada. I guess I can be chalked up with the 4 other people who were fired in the past month (for the most trivial matters.) And, we are the few who weren't personal friends with the owner.

The fact is, I was quitting next week anyway, because I'm starting a new job. But they don't know that. And I am relieved because I was working every night this week, including Saturday. So much for "part-time" job.

So there you have it. I tried and failed. The moral of the story? There isn't one. I still want to be a waitress though. I loved it! Maybe that place where you get to wear bright orange shorts and a tight t-shirt is hiring...

Something big is coming

I know, I've been lax in writing but I took 3 days off from work, and Lord knows the only time I'm going to waste blogging is while at work.

But that's not to say I haven't been thinking about what to write. Some topics that I may or may not address include:

Being functionally retarded. The proof is really stacking up. I'm not really sure how I've gotten along so well and independently in life being so functionally retarded. I'm logical and practical to a near fault. But I pretty much have no common sense. I'm just starting to realize this. All these years I thought my brothers were just teasing me, as brothers are wont to do.

Quitting my job. Finally.

Buying a new car. Finally.

Working at the restaurant. Actually, I still have nothing to write there. It's going great. Darn it.

My sister, who is 13, who forwards me the jokes that she and her friends email. The last one was "how to flirt" and it was clearly meant for the 13-year old crowd because it included something about being picked up at school by your mom. Maybe she doesn't realize we have 20 YEAR age gap.

Oh, I've got plenty of fodder, believe you me, to keep you and I entertained for days. But I won't spoil you by dumping it all at once. I'll meter it out in very precise doses. Just enough to get you hooked and coming back for more.

Stay tuned.

Nice Equals Boring?

When you read the headline, and I know you read the headline, you probably thought I was going to be writing about dating a nice guy who also happens to be boring. Well, you are wrong. I'm writing about my new part-time job in a restaurant.

When I told my friends I was going to be working as a server in a new restaurant the reactions were fairly similar (all friends who responded have worked in restaurants):
"Oh man -- I remember those days -- crazy! Crazy stuff goes on behind the scenes..."
"You're going to hate it. Chefs are mean to the waitstaff, waitstaff politics are nuts. Customers suck."
"Awesome! Everyone sleeps with everyone, it's a total scene"

And so on.

And so I was ready for some fun. Some juicy tidbits to fill up my blog(s). Stories of sex in the walk-in freezer (not me, but my coworkers of course...)

So imagine my disappointment that here it is 3 or 4 weeks into my employment and everyone is really nice and normal! Yes, normal. Not so different from me. Of the girls I work with who are servers 2 are in graduate school pursuing smarty-pants degrees; one just quit her nursing profession to attend culinary school; and one is a marketing professional during the day.

I've watched "Hells Kitchen" and "The Restaurant" -- I know that chefs are cocky, yelling, mean-ish jerks. I was ready for it. But oh no. I work with the BEST executive chef and sous chef. They couldn't be nicer -- to the entire staff. No yelling at all. No condescending remarks to anyone in the kitchen or front of house. Super nice. Generous. Wants everyone to be happy.

Darn it. How am I supposed to have any blogging material working in such a supportive and happy environment?

It has gotten to the point where I'm seriously thinking about quitting my "day job" and just working at the restaurant part-time. I'm so much happier when I'm working there than I am during the day. Of course, it won't pay the bills, but I don't have to worry about that for about 4-5 months.

So if you want to eat at a place where the wait-staff actually enjoys their work, the chefs are producing AMAZING food, and the overall atmosphere is really great, come to this restaurant. But if you could, be a jerky customer 'cause maybe then at least I'd have something to write about.

I Forget What I Was Going to Say

I couldn't sleep at all last night. This happens cyclically so I'm not too worried. Sort of like those stress dreams, every few months I have a few days in a row where I can't sleep. So I was up a lot last night and I KNOW that I was writing a really great blog post in my head. But I forget what it was. I'm hoping that at some point today, it just pops back into my head.

I know why I couldn't sleep. I'm about to get into having a really busy schedule and I'm already worried about keeping up. So basically, I couldn't sleep because I was worried about not getting enough sleep. Make sense?

Tonight officially starts my part-time job as a waitress at a new restaurant. I've been there for 2 weeks but so far we've only had training and Friends and Family opening weekend. But I've been leaving my full-time job early every day to get to training. Which makes me feel bad (yes, really.) Here's how my next few days are going to play out:

Tuesday:
Desk Job 8:30-3:45 (must leave very early)
Find time to study menu and wine list for work tonight
Restaurant: 4:00-closing

Wednesday
Job Interview: 8:00-12:00
Desk Job: 12:30-6:00
Beach Volleyball: 9:00-10:00

Thursday
Desk Job: 8:30-4:15 (must leave very early)
Find time to study menu and wine list for work tonight
Restaurant: 4:30-9:30

Friday
Very Important Presentation to Leadership: 7:00 AM -10:00
Desk Job: 10:00-4:15 (must leave very early but okay because will be here at 7)
Restaurant: 4:30-closing

Saturday
Library
Volunteer job: 2:00-4:00 (may have to quit)
Restaurant Job: 4:30-9:30

Sunday
Prepare for 5k cross country run by finally going to gym.

When I write it all out, it doesn't look so bad. I guess the stressful parts are having to leave work early (I'm sneaking out at this point) and having the double-whammy of the job interview and major presentation back-to-back. Although, if the job interview goes well, I don't need to sweat the presentation. But I can't really think that way. My work ethic (yes, believe it or not, I have one) is too strong.

So there you have it. If I can remember that awesome blog I wrote in my head last night, I'll try to get it out.

Homicidal Ideations

The makers of the antidepressant Effexor recently added "homicidal ideations" to the list of possible side effects for this drug. This is one of the drugs that Andrea Yates, who killed her five children by drowning them in the bath tub, was on. It's also the antidepressant I'm on. And you thought this joie de vie was all natural.

I gotta tell ya, I've had some of the side effects. Dizziness, loss of appetite, random sweating. Nothing terrible to manage. I can honestly say, I never experienced homicidal ideations. Until yesterday.

I was driving through downtown to get to work. There was a cop blocking a lane of traffic so we all had to move left. Everyone was doing it in a nice orderly fashion. Alternating cars were merging over. Until it was my turn and the ASSHOLE in the green Jetta REFUSED to let me merge. It was MY turn. I had my blinker on -- which in my opinion is the equivalent of saying, "Excuse me, I need to get through now." He just kept INCHING up so I couldn't get in. He was close enough for me to look him in the eye -- through our respective windows -- and say "ASSHOLE!"

So he let me in -- "let me in" -- it was MY TURN. Anyway, he gave me the finger. GEEZ I HATE THAT. I HATE IT. So I did what I always do when someone gives me the finger -- not that it happens often. I stuck my tongue out at him. Yeah, I did it. Not only that, I sat there staring him down in my rearview mirror -- with my tongue sticking out at him. Ha.

The last time I did that to a car filled with people, they were shocked. You would have thought I had...I don't know...mooned them. THEY gave me the finger, but for some reason a flash of my tongue sticking out was so much more offensive?

In any case, I'm not sure that it counts as homicidal ideations, but man, it was close. We better keep an eye on me.

Dating Karma

I've touched on this before, but I'm going to expand. I waffle between theoretically wanting a boyfriend/relationship and knowing that in reality, it's gonna take a lot to get me into one. It's not that I'm so super picky, it's just that I like my life, I like making my own plans and decisions and having to consider another person when making plans really messes all of that up. Not to mention all the other stuff that comes along with a relationship.

Case in point. I had a dinner date planned for last night. I guess you could even say I asked him out. He had invited me out for dinner on Sunday -- at the very last minute mind you -- but I was working. So I suggested that we do dinner on Wednesday. I'm not even sure why I did that other than I sometimes figure I need to put more effort in this dating thing. However, I had volleyball last night but said I could do dinner afterwards. I love beach volleyball. It's my new favorite activity. So when I was asked to play another game with a new team, I said yes. Which meant I had to cancel my date. Which meant I did the tacky thing and sent him a text message an hour before were were to meet at the restaurant.

It's those kind of things that make me believe that I'm messing up my own dating karma. I do believe what goes around comes around. Now, I fully expect to have a guy cancel a date with me at the last minute. The best that I can hope is that I won't really be all that interested in him (as I suspect was the case with last night's guy.)

Sometimes I think I don't have time for dating. But then I realize, I just don't want to be bothered with sorting the good from the bad. A guy really needs to be "pre-approved" before I can even consider having a date with him. Afterall, a date equals time and I don't have a lot of time to dedicate to something with an unknown outcome. However, pre-approval isn't really that hard to come by. You can be the friend of a friend. You can be someone I already know. You can be someone I don't know but see around all the time and am already intrigued by. I see a lot of people in the course of a week -- and I just mean casually see them, at sports, at work, walking around, etc, etc. And I can think of 4 guys -- just 4 -- who are currently pre-approved for a date. Of course, they aren't asking. Dating karma?

I'm not always a dating jerk. I'd like to think I'm overall a nice, good-hearted person. It's just with everthing going on in my life, it's going to take a really, really awesome guy to get me to commit. I love my life -- I love having a career, I love having a part-time job, I love my volunteer position, I love my social sports teams (okay, I hate softball but I love my teammates), I love spending time with my friends, I love going to the bars, I love visiting my family. There's NOTHING I can give up in order to make time for a guy. I know, for the right guy I'd make the time. And there's rub -- where the heck is he and how will I know him when I meet him? And more importantly, will he be the one who makes me want to reprioritize my life? That's the guy with whom I should be in a relationship.